Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
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