Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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