Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
