I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
