She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
