oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize