i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
