Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
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