How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
i need some magic done to my vagina
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
