he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Randomize