so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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