Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
