Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
