the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
If its not for food we ain't going out.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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