I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
