My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Randomize
