She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
