the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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