You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
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