wrigley field is MILF paradise
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
im having a threesome with these popsicles
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
