its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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