And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
