tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Randomize
