Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
