new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
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