Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
He uses pillows to masturbate.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
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