But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
There was a lot of him and a little penis
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
