Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
