Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
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