Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(641): View more from Iowa

I met the friendliest cop last night

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(336): View more from North Carolina

well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.

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(404): View more from Georgia

"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?

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(954): View more from Florida

just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything

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(813): View more from Florida

I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?

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(330): View more from Ohio

I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break

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(509): View more from Washington

I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty

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(203): View more from Connecticut

A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back

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(901): View more from Tennessee

I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.

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