Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Randomize
