I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize