he wants to bone in the snuggie
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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