he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Randomize
