Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Randomize