I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
i will never coherently bang her
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
