so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Randomize
