I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
