well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
You took a bar mat shot.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Randomize
