It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
It's rum buckets o'clock
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Randomize