Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
My ass is underappreciated
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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