he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
