She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
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