Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
