She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Randomize
