can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
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