recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
do nipples grow back?
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
