sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Randomize