when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
