Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
How external is "for external use only"?
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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