Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Randomize
