Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Randomize
