Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize