I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
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