U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Randomize
