Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Randomize
