i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Sorry about my life...
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Randomize
