ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Randomize
