CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
You can't just leave with hair like that
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
