you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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