Someone shit on the floor
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Can I color on your dick again?
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize
