I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
We need to get me chipped asap
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
