Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
