dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
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