If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
We got so high we made milksteak
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
This show inspires me to have sex in space
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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