I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize